Say Goodbye
by jerome121
Summary: Dean needs to say goodbye; Seamus needs to understand


A/N: Hey guys please check this out as this is only second story every so..help me out loool please dont be too harsh :)

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Dean had been contemplating like this for at least two weeks and his best friend for 6 years and boyfriend of two months was just a mite concerned.

"Dean are you okay?" He watched as Dean blinked; seemingly coming out of his trance." I am fine Shay, why do you ask?"

Seamus simply raised an eyebrow, which was rewarded by a rather startled look as if Dean was actually surprised that his problem...whatever it was... had been noticed. Seamus almost felt insulted... almost. Dean just seemed to forget sometimes that Seamus could read as well as the books he always drew in.

Dropping the charade, as the Irish in him demanded; he got straight to the point "Look you have been acting kind of... off these past weeks and I would just like to know why?" Dean let out a long winded sigh and looked around him to take in the Hogwarts grounds covered in snow; Seamus shivered regretting starting this conversation outside. "I've just been thinking a lot lately"-Seamus resisted the urge to roll his eyes - Dean did that enough for the both of them; and Seamus loved it every time he did; even when it's directed at him... It was like Dean's trademark.

"Aye..."

Just about people y'know? - the ones I used to have crushes and the like on; just saying goodbye really" was his response

"Hmm?" Seamus was extremely confused, but Dean just carried on as if no sound had ever been uttered "Well I think about them and then I turn around and all I see is you"

Taking that as an insult Seamus was just about start an angry argument entitled "**What the bloody hell was that supposed to mean!" **when... He noticed ... he noticed that his boyfriend had that sort of glassed look in his eyes; the same look he gets when his drawing or painting and Seamus has to wonder how he can he draw like that when he looks so unfocused; it just makes his art..Spectacular as they are... seem even more magical. He has never seen that look "outside" of Dean's art and it concerns him a little.

"It's just I think about them and ...Nothing" "Nothing..?" "**Nothing**!" Seamus jumps he weren't really sure he'd get a response... those eyes are very misleading.

I think about all the things that I used to find cute, funny, even sexy about them and it's just blank like the feelings where never there to begin with and everything that I do consider sexy etcetera has all been "shay-afied"

"Huh?" Seamus is still very confused, but Dean doesn't seem to notice.

"Did you know I had to train myself to blink every 20 seconds when talking to you?" he blinked. "Because If I don't everything starts to get blurry and I get lost in your face and I start to wonder how eyes can be that perfect shade of blue and how can someone's hair can be such a perfect mix between light brown and dark and how can you be so ...perfectly... just you"- then of course I will get called anti-social for not noticing anyone else around... he added as an after thought

Seamus blinked, he mouth fell open in shock and a light blush dusted he cheeks. If anyone else had said that he would have laughed and said they must be joking with that cheesy line... but this was not anyone...this was Dean...he wasn't laughing..He was serious and Seamus was... Speechless.

But Dean just continued..."and do you that if anyone else spoke to me all hours of the night I'd tell to get shut the hell up... but with you if I don't fall asleep to the sound of your voice I just don't feel right inside...it's so hard to explain and...

"Dean!" As much as Seamus loved this little monologue he had to interrupt. "Dean ar- a you saying that you lov-

"NO!..Err Yes...No!" Needless to say that our little Irishman was getting a little tired of this guessing game. "Then what Are you saying!" Seamus said voice rising.

Again Dean sighed, closed his eyes and shook his head. Once his eyes had opened again Seamus noticed the glassy look was gone and Dean was staring with such intensity that it made Seamus **shiver**, "I'm saying that's not good enough, Shay and that... kinda scares me a little... suddenly the snow on the ground seemed really interesting. "

"Dean I don't un-"I'm saying.. Dean started almost exasperatedly. "That saying those word would feel like a lie because it does not even sum up a quarter of what I feel for you! I'm saying that all the other crushes don't compare put together! "And... his voice shrank "If we were to break up...or something were to happen... he looked way, there would be no point in me even trying to move on and I'd live my life alone and be **happy **to do it..

Seamus had no words to add this time. Dean's voice rose slightly "It scares me cause at my age I'm not supposed to be feel this way, I'm supposed to be testing the waters as they say... not that I regret it mind you...not at all" he lips rose slightly into a smirk. "And to cap of this rant; it seems mankind has yet to update its dictionary with the words to explain how I feel about you so I'll just have to settle for...

**I love you**: I am deeply** deeply** in love with you, Seamus Finnigan..., another sigh "and I'm just sitting here saying goodbye" Within a matter of milliseconds Dean's arm was full of Seamus kissing him with as much vigour as he could muster; hoping to portray things he mouth could not say right now:

I understand

Thank you

I love you too

Pulling away as a single tear left Seamus's eye, Dean wiped it away with his thumb, locking eyes Dean nodded and with the squeeze of Dean's hand Seamus turned around and left him.

Left him to say goodbye


End file.
